Causes Of A Child’s Stubbornness
Can you deny these four highlighted reasons your child is stubborn?
Mike’s family and mine live as neighbours, we have been family friends for almost two decades and I witnessed the birth of their second son, Stephen. Stephen was a very good kid, he was always lovely with his parents, especially his mother who would drop him at our place a few minutes before the arrival of the school bus. This continued till when he was ten years, now old enough to descend the stairs of their apartment.
I saw Stephen coming towards our place on a blissful Tuesday all set for school except that his mother was not with him this time. Well, I thought Mary had finally agreed that Steph was now a grown-up but I soon abandoned this when I saw Mary yelling at her son as loud as her voice could get. Even Steph’s dad was surprised.
I did my investigation and found out that Steph has grown up to be stubborn, and completely difficult to control or correct. A 13-year-old boy seems to have stopped believing in his mother and now running things in his own ways. Well, I know Stephen as well as I know that stubbornness is not a birth trait, it needs to be fueled and facilitated to attain such a degree.
Comparing your kid with his siblings or peers at school
Sometimes we are disappointed by our most valued element of hope, putting a high expectation on our kids is fine but you should know that things don’t always go your way. I don’t know but if your kid is not doing so well in school I think the worse approach is to start comparing him with other pupils.
You probably thought that that move will make him work harder but most kids out there would only feel betrayed and attacked emotionally. Why don’t you address the problem from a different angle? You can get him mnemonics, a personal tutor, you can even study with him.
Stephen wasn’t so brilliant but not so bad either, I would label him a C student. He disappointed his mother for several years until she could not take it anymore and as a result, she watched her son slip slowly from her grip.
Excessive pampering
Offering your child excessive care more than he needs can lead to annoying stubbornness. When you pamper your child you are leaving an impression that someone needs to get things done for him. A pampered child would always request other people’s help, they will never feel the need to face the ups and downs of life on their own. They become extremely lazy that when you want them to do something for you they say No, go get someone else.
Then you become angry and he becomes stubborn then the relationship takes a negative path.
Ignoring the child
Every child needs to be given attention as much as they need to be fed. Listening to them when they talk, tending to their needs, and following up on their progress would go a long way in softening their hearts giving you the ability to dig in.
A child that receives the complete opposite would only become stubborn because he thinks that there is no reason to comply with you since you’ve got no attention to his well-being.
Giving orders in a negative way
You are the parent and I understand that you want the best for him, he may not always agree with your decision this is because the kid has a mind of his own. You need to give orders in the most friendly way possible. Read the situation and make the child understand every logic behind your decision. Also, make sure your pieces of advice are working for him, this will pave way for future mutual affection.
Stephen is still stubborn but his father is trying everything he can to bring him back around. And I believe with time he will once again soften his heart towards his mom.
